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aardogsLast Friday I went and got Panic. I only intended on having him here for the duration of my fall break, but when I saw him this time after being apart since August something hit me like a sack of bricks. Panic has gotten older, and I can finally see it in him.
Four years ago I made the decision to come to Wooster, and while it was certainly the best decision I could have made for myself, I had to miss so much of Panic's life. Our agility career was cut short just when we were becoming a consistent team, and our relationship overall is not as strong as it used to be. My head was once fully in the dog world. There are a lot of passions pulling for my attention but the one towards dog sports is pulling at me less and less as the years go by. Sometimes we will go to a show, or I will watch a video or following a big event like AWC and feel that spark again, briefly but intensely. I miss it, I miss that intensity and that passion. But for now at least it's best to leave that spark alone. I don't want it to die out, but I will hold it carefully, presciously, in a corner of my heart. I know he misses it to. The sport itself, but there's something else there too. I haven't found any other outlet that forges such a bond as training and showing in agility does.
But enough about that--the point is that Panic is here and I've decided he will stay. When I bring him here he really isn't my dog anymore. He becomes a part of this community, just like I have. There are people I love and trust and that I know will help care for him if things get overwhelming, not that he needs to be cared for much. He's taking care of all of us way more than we're taking care of him. It doesn't make sense for him to be anywhere else anymore. Besides, the squirrles here are fat and lazy and so easy to chase.
Four years ago I made the decision to come to Wooster, and while it was certainly the best decision I could have made for myself, I had to miss so much of Panic's life. Our agility career was cut short just when we were becoming a consistent team, and our relationship overall is not as strong as it used to be. My head was once fully in the dog world. There are a lot of passions pulling for my attention but the one towards dog sports is pulling at me less and less as the years go by. Sometimes we will go to a show, or I will watch a video or following a big event like AWC and feel that spark again, briefly but intensely. I miss it, I miss that intensity and that passion. But for now at least it's best to leave that spark alone. I don't want it to die out, but I will hold it carefully, presciously, in a corner of my heart. I know he misses it to. The sport itself, but there's something else there too. I haven't found any other outlet that forges such a bond as training and showing in agility does.
But enough about that--the point is that Panic is here and I've decided he will stay. When I bring him here he really isn't my dog anymore. He becomes a part of this community, just like I have. There are people I love and trust and that I know will help care for him if things get overwhelming, not that he needs to be cared for much. He's taking care of all of us way more than we're taking care of him. It doesn't make sense for him to be anywhere else anymore. Besides, the squirrles here are fat and lazy and so easy to chase.
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Date: 2015-10-16 02:44 pm (UTC)I'm so glad he's with you. I know you're horribly busy. But he's quite the guy, and the love he can spread around is worth SO MUCH... Good man Panic.
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Date: 2015-10-17 02:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-16 02:46 pm (UTC)I didn't get into agility until I was nearly 40 years old! I suspect it will stick around for the long-haul. Point being, you need to do these things you're doing now. There's NO WAY I could have done any real dog training in my early 30s when Allison was a wee lass. No way. So... remember it. Watch it and like you said, keep it in your heart. You'll get back to it when you can.
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Date: 2015-10-17 02:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-16 03:19 pm (UTC)someday of you decide to do it again with another dog that you will be in a place that will make it easy for you. Just so glad you posted;)
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Date: 2015-10-17 02:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-17 08:40 am (UTC)I miss you! When I get back to the states, it would be lovely to catch up somehow, if you're game. I'm going to keep that in my head just in case. :)
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Date: 2015-10-17 02:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-17 04:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-17 08:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-18 01:45 pm (UTC)