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Every time I come home from school Panic looks wiser, like while I'm away learning in an institution he is here learning as well, from the earth, from the universe, I'm not quite sure, but there is some kind of wisdom there that is deepening all the time.



As much as I hate being away for so long, there is something very awesome about getting to learn so many new things about each other each time we are together. He is getting older. So am I.

This is the first time I've been home since we lost Maxie. It is strangely the same and strangely different. Her absence didn't hit me as strongly as I thought it would, but it has been hard in the smallest ways. Getting myself a late-night snack without her tapping nails and inquisitive ears right behind me, watching a person walk by our house without her high-pitched alarm barking, grabbing my car keys without her bouncing up and down next to me. She was such a huge presence in our lives. This weekend at our show Panic and I will definitely be running for her. Last night at practice we certainly were--a whole lot of fun and just a bit of naughtiness.

September 2016

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