Maxie Love

Last Monday night, Maxie suffered a stroke and passed away peacefully about an hour later. I was not there, as I am currently away at school, and this is a fact that haunts me. I know I couldn’t have known, I know there’s nothing I could have done, but knowing that I will go home for spring break and she won’t be there is the hardest fact to swallow. It’s one thing to imagine the world without Maxie, it will be another thing to experience it. How is one supposed to live in a world without a Maxie? That is something I will have to figure out. The world is a very different place now and I will have to adjust.

The dog that started it all--that is a special one. I know most all of you can relate. This is the dog that changed the trajectory of my life. Any loss is hard, but this one, wow. This one hurts. She’s special, that one. I was nine when we got her. Over half my life, over 12 years of my life, I spent with this dog. I barely remember the time before Maxie.

I'm convinced I really didn't teach her anything, but she absorbed knowledge like no other dog I’ve ever met. She was the best dog a kid could have. She was bad, she was mean, she was silly, she was smart as a whip. I can’t believe what an awesome dog we happened upon. I learned so much from her and I know I would not be the kind of person I am today if not for her.

Today, I am grateful for the life she had. I am grateful for that fateful day we found her and our family’s rash decision to get a dog we knew nothing about. I am grateful that her “bad” behavior started me on an amazing journey of love, patience, understanding, knowledge, and friendship in the dog world. I am grateful for the health of Toby and Panic. I am grateful that Panic had such a mentor in life and that so much of her spirit and attitude survives in him. I am grateful for my obsessive need to take videos and photos and for the outlet I have for them. I am grateful that each and every one of you get it, that I don’t have to explain why she wasn’t “just a dog”

The best agility run of my life:

And the cutest thing that every happened in the history of the world:

I am so incredibly grateful and yet I am also deeply, profoundly, sad. And that’s ok too. I know one day that sadness will fade to a fond reminiscing and I will be able to look at these photos and videos without bursting into tears. But for now I’m going to cry.