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This is a post about me.
Sep. 17th, 2013 09:46 pmHere is a song you may listen to while reading this (or not but it's an awesome song.)
I very often feel terrible when I have to leave Panic at home. It is very tough to want to live two lives at once. On the one hand, I would love to be living at home, showing and training and maybe raising a puppy. I would love for agility to be my main focus and I would love to chase big dreams and go to Nationals every year. Mostly I would just love to get to be around my dog every day and not every few weeks and sometimes months.
On the other hand, if agility was my main focus I would never get to experience the things I do at Wooster. I would never get to be here at Wooster. Every single day here is packed from beginning to end from classes, to cross country, to meetings, clubs, homework, making hats, building wooden structures, becoming a Dungeon Master (if you didn't think I was nerdy before) and--sometimes--relaxing and being social. Oh it's a rough life, I know.
It's no secret that I am the kind of person that wants to do everything, and well. I want to be the best. I have long ago accepted that that isn't going to happen, but that doesn't make it any easier to accept. What do you mean I can't leave my dog at home for months then come back for two days and have a perfect weekend of agility? What do you mean I don't have time to take and edit hundreds of photos one night then wake up the next morning and PR at a Cross Country race? Why is it silly that my career aspiration is to be a dairy farmer/photojournalist/illustrator/radio dj?
Seriously, I want and try to do everything. I got to be a photographer at one of our school's biggest events and it was awesome. I did not PR at my cross country race the next morning but I RAN it (and that counts for something). A few weeks from now I will have my own radio show. Four days a week I spend at least three hours creating art. Every time I go home I get to see this.
And at school I get this.
Photo ©Susan Bradley
People tell me that now is the time for me to do everything, to explore the world literally and figuratively. Other people tell me that I need stop being ridiculous and wasting my eduction when I should aspire to law school or medical school. I'm not sure I would make a good doctor or lawyer.
A few years ago I learned to always follow my heart regardless of what other people think is right for me. Most people have good intentions, most people want to see you succeed and be stable, comfortable, and well-adjusted (whatever that means). I am very grateful to the people out there that care so much about me, but I've never regretted a decision I've made with my heart so logic be damned.
I don't think I will ever make the World Team or shoot for National Geographic or have my own show on NPR. It takes a special kind of person to do Big Things and I'm just not sure I'm that kind of person--though I can't say I won't still try. Despite my ridiculous aspirations, I'm pretty sure I'm going to be okay even if I don't get to do anything "big" with my life. I love all the experiences I get to have and all the people (and the dog) I get to experience them with.
I very often feel terrible when I have to leave Panic at home. It is very tough to want to live two lives at once. On the one hand, I would love to be living at home, showing and training and maybe raising a puppy. I would love for agility to be my main focus and I would love to chase big dreams and go to Nationals every year. Mostly I would just love to get to be around my dog every day and not every few weeks and sometimes months.
On the other hand, if agility was my main focus I would never get to experience the things I do at Wooster. I would never get to be here at Wooster. Every single day here is packed from beginning to end from classes, to cross country, to meetings, clubs, homework, making hats, building wooden structures, becoming a Dungeon Master (if you didn't think I was nerdy before) and--sometimes--relaxing and being social. Oh it's a rough life, I know.
It's no secret that I am the kind of person that wants to do everything, and well. I want to be the best. I have long ago accepted that that isn't going to happen, but that doesn't make it any easier to accept. What do you mean I can't leave my dog at home for months then come back for two days and have a perfect weekend of agility? What do you mean I don't have time to take and edit hundreds of photos one night then wake up the next morning and PR at a Cross Country race? Why is it silly that my career aspiration is to be a dairy farmer/photojournalist/illustrator/radio dj?
Seriously, I want and try to do everything. I got to be a photographer at one of our school's biggest events and it was awesome. I did not PR at my cross country race the next morning but I RAN it (and that counts for something). A few weeks from now I will have my own radio show. Four days a week I spend at least three hours creating art. Every time I go home I get to see this.
And at school I get this.
Photo ©Susan Bradley
People tell me that now is the time for me to do everything, to explore the world literally and figuratively. Other people tell me that I need stop being ridiculous and wasting my eduction when I should aspire to law school or medical school. I'm not sure I would make a good doctor or lawyer.
A few years ago I learned to always follow my heart regardless of what other people think is right for me. Most people have good intentions, most people want to see you succeed and be stable, comfortable, and well-adjusted (whatever that means). I am very grateful to the people out there that care so much about me, but I've never regretted a decision I've made with my heart so logic be damned.
I don't think I will ever make the World Team or shoot for National Geographic or have my own show on NPR. It takes a special kind of person to do Big Things and I'm just not sure I'm that kind of person--though I can't say I won't still try. Despite my ridiculous aspirations, I'm pretty sure I'm going to be okay even if I don't get to do anything "big" with my life. I love all the experiences I get to have and all the people (and the dog) I get to experience them with.